


Perfect to Me

by Miraculous_Wolf



Series: Supernatural Love [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Older Winchester's and Singer are shocked, Post-Stanford, Sam Plays Guitar, Sam Winchester can sing, Sam has a small fling, Sam is awesome, Slight Child Abandonment, Young Adult!Dean, anti-bullying, teen!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculous_Wolf/pseuds/Miraculous_Wolf
Summary: Sam promised to never ask for anything.He just wanted this one thing.





	

**Perfect To Me**

Sam was nervous and excited. He really wished Dean was around for this but unfortunately (or fortunately) he was on a solo hunt, leaving Sam with their father. John had decided they would finish a quick hunt in Minnesota (salt and burn) before heading down to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Bobby was happy to have the them stay for as long as they needed. Dean was taking his sweet time, which left Sam in South Dakota for 6 weeks so far. He had a sneaking suspicion that their father was sending Dean on different hunts while John went off and did his own. John thought it was best that Sam stayed at the home base (Bobby's house) for research purposes and _finish schooling._

Yeah, right.

John didn't care if Sam went to school or not. Sam knew John wanted him out of the way. It hurt but Bobby was always like a father figure, more so then John, so he couldn't say he was surprised or disappointed. John did his best and Sam _tried_ not to ask for anything, he really did, but it was hard to deal with John's praise with Dean when all Sam got was reprimand. Dean encouraged Sam all the time, sent messages and phone calls, telling him not to give up. Yeah, easy for him to say, Dad wasn't breathing down his neck 24/7.

The upside to his abandonment (it's what he started calling it since John hasn't been back for two weeks and Sam _knew_ he was alive since he called Bobby and Pastor Jim for research) was that he got to continue school for more then one week. It's been a little over a month and he actually had friends. He wasn't bullied for being a freaky new kid since he came at the beginning of sophomore year. He just needed to make a quick few before he was easily accepted into the school. It was amazing! And he met someone. _She_ was amazing. Lottie reminded him a lot of his mother...or what Dean used to say about her. She had long blonde hair that curled at the ends, bright green eyes (sorta like Dean's) and petal pink lips. She was 5'4 to his 5'9 frame and was sassy, sarcastic and perfect. She was sweet and caring of all the students. It was how he got roped into helping out around the Anti-Bullying Awareness Week. Friday (in three days), they were throwing a huge party. People share their stories and sing and dance and overall, it's the one week they accept and share each other's quirks and weirdness. The best part is that everyone actively participates! Sure, maybe like 3 people will be hatin', but if so, they just don't show up. It was awesome.

Lottie signed him up for the committee days ago and since then, he's been practicing his piece. He had to _sing._ He was actually good at singing, despite what Dean says. Sam remembered when he was a bit younger, Dean was out and it was just Sam and his dad. He was singing  _Hey Jude_ when John snapped at him, yelling at him to never sing that song again. Sam was so freaked out, he just stopped singing all together. And when Dean tried getting him to sing a couple chords or a chorus, he bullshitted it and sounded like a train wreck. He never saw his dad look so pained then that night and Sam never wanted to be the cause of it again. Now came the hard part though, parents were supposed to come and show support. Without parent's consent and donations to local Anti-Bullying programs, you couldn't preform. It was absolute  _Bull_ but Sam also knew it was a way to get parent's engaged into their child's life.

His dad wasn't around but Bobby was.

That was good enough for him.

When he asked, Bobby didn't laugh, he just gazed at Sam with furrowed brows. Sam shifted uncomfortably but held his gaze all the same.

"Please Uncle Bobby." Sam whispered, his puppy eyes coming out subconsciously. Bobby sighed fondly and ruffled Sam's hair.

"Alright kiddo, when is it again?"

"YES!" Sam couldn't help cheering. He was so used to being shot down! Dean would have thought it was lame and Dad wouldn't even consider it but Bobby freaking  _said YES!_ "It's on Friday! You just need to bring a $10 donation fee. I'm going to be helping around the stands then I may or may not preform (he so was) so you'll have to pick a seat at some point, but only if you want to!!"

Bobby snorted at Sam, the kid was practically bouncing on his toes. Sam turned to run out but paused in the door way, happy demeanor fading and insecure eyes fell back to Bobby.

"Do you know when Dad and Dean will be back?"

"Sorry kiddo, I don't."

Sam nodded and walked up the stairs to his room.

Bobby wanted to kill John and Dean.

**\---**

Dean wearily answered the phone, head pounding, the ringing only making it worse. He partied a little too hard last night. He glanced at the naked body pressed against his own and wondered for a second what he name was. A voice tried getting his attention, bringing him back to his predicament.

"H-Hello?"

"Dean, finally!" Bobby's gruff voice snarled. Dean whined low in his throat, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Wha's wrong? Sammy ok?"

"Sam's fine. But you better get your ass down here before Friday."

"Why?" Dean stood, not caring about his own nakedness and pulling on a new pair of boxers and walking to the bathroom, awkwardly washing his face.

"Sam never asks you for anything and when he does, it's just him being a little brother. Homework help, Lucky Charms, little things that he shouldn't even have to ask you."

"What are you getting at?" Dean mumbled, feeling a bit more human then 5 minutes ago.

"Sam needs you now. He's not asking but if he were to, he would want you here with him, Dean. He need's his big brother."

Dean still didn't understand what was going on but could feel the seriousness drip from Bobby's tone. He nodded his head before realizing the older hunter couldn't see it. "Yeah alright. I'll be there. Friday?"

"Come around 3. Don't forger boy or I'll tan ya like no tomorrow." Bobby hung up and Dean winced at the threat.

"I'm too old for that shit."

He couldn't help but wonder what Sam needed so fucking bad.

**\---**

John was at Pastor Jim's when he got a similar call from Bobby. It was basically Bobby telling John to get his ass their unless he wanted to be dragged like a child. John was confused but got the same answer whenever he asked.

_Sam rarely asks for anything John. He's asking for this. So get your ass here unless you want to lose your boy._

And like Hell John would lose his baby boy, his last gift from Mary.

**\---**

Sam was so nervous! It was Friday and only two more hours till the whole shebang started. Bobby would be coming later and Sam could feel something he hasn't felt in a while.

Hope.

He was used to being disappointed but hope was almost foreign to him.

One more hour to go.

Sam had been finishing setting up everything, he didn't notice how fast time actually flickered by. He saw the band was already set up, they were tuning up the speakers, the art geeks were putting finishing touches on setting up their pictures, it looked amazing. The writes all had poems and short stories and ballads written and everything looked so awesome. Sam felt proud because he was actually apart of something! Something that didn't involve killing or hurting or any of that shit. This was about _healing_ wounds that never got a chance to fully recover, that is what this whole weak was about! Sam knows he has wounds he still needs to heal and this felt like a step forward. He just wished Dean and his father would be here as well.

 

John pulled into the drive way of Singer's Salvage yard the same time Dean did. Dean had the impala this time, much to his father's chagrin.  He lost a fucking poker game and his son happily took the impala's keys. Dean nodded at his dad, giving him a one armed hug before bounding up to the house, hoping to see his little brother. John snorted an followed at a much more subdued pace. Bobby watched them from the kitchen window and wiped his hands dry from the dishes he was washing to give Dean a hug.

"How ya doin' Ace?"

"I'm fine. Where's Sammy?" Dean asked, walking to the fridge and getting a beer. Bobby rolled his eyes, nineteen years old and just like his daddy.

"Out."

"Out?" John asked, catching a beer Dean tossed.

"Out." Bobby confirmed.

"Out where?"

"Well that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it." Quickly checking the time, Bobby deemed they had about 25 minutes before they could head out to the school. He idly wondered what Sam would be doing _at_ the event. He was never given a straight answer when he asked so he had to assume it wasn't something involving a gun or knife.

25 minutes passed and Bobby ushered them into the Impala and gave them directions to go.

"The school?" Dean whined as they pulled up. It was crowded with people, adults and children alike. "Should of known Sammy would get a high from this place."

"Shut it ya idjit." Bobby cuffed the back of his head. The three made their way to the entrance, pausing every once in a while to gaze at the bright colors and pretty signs.

"Anti-Bullying Week." John muttered, watching little kids run along the field playing with each other in such innocence, he wished his boys still had that.

"Figures Sammy would help here." Dean said, a sad ringing through his tone. Seconds later a women with bright blonde hair and blue eyes bonded up to them with a huge smile.

"Hi! My name is Maddie Holt, I am the Principle here. Are you just here for the activities or..."

"We are the family of Sam Winchester." Bobby said.

Mrs. Holt's eyes fucking sparkled.

"Are you! Oh Sam is such a wonderful boy, we love him so much! Straight A student with such a curious mind. He's so kind and such a sweetheart, you must be so proud!"

"We are." Dean answered, eyes conveying how happy he was that his brother got along somewhere. "Hi I'm Dean, Sammy's older brother. What else has he been doing here?"

"You know, Sam put most of these up out here." She pointed to the Gym and the office, before leading them into the buildings, all decorated with works from the students. The Winchester's and Singer all looked around, pride filling their gut. "The show is going to start, do you have your fee?"

John was about to open his mouth to respond when Bobby handed over $10. "Sam told me about it."

"Please find some seats and enjoy!"

Parents and kids, young adults all sat in chairs, crowded together. The three men felt better just standing to the side. Feeling boxed in never settled well with hunters. Dean glanced around before his eyes widened in shock.

"Hey, there's Sammy!" The two older men glanced that way too and relaxed a bit at the sight of the youngest Winchester. He was talking to a blonde girl, a bit shorter then himself (a lot shorter) and she said something that made Sam smile and say something back. The girl giggled her answer before leaning up and kissing Sam. "Well Damn." Dean muttered.

Sam smiled back down at her before they were ushered toward backstage and disappeared from his family's view. Well, that was interesting.

**\---**

Sam was going over some final touches, looking over the crowd and feeling his stomach cramp with nerves. Before he could fully freak out, arms wrapped around his waist, a nose nuzzling his shoulder. Sam turned and smiled down at Lottie, a calm settling over him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok."

"Hey," She got his attention. "It's ok. We are going to be right there with you, promise." Lottie motioned to his friends and herself making Sam fully relax. He smiled at her, chest feeling tight with emotions for this girl.

"What would I do without you?"

"Crash and Burn," Lottie giggled before leaning up and kissing Sam. Sam hummed his response and kissed back, hand cupping her cheek gently. Pulling away, he smiled before feeling himself get ushered back stage. Now it was a waiting game.

People went back and forth on stage, sharing tidbits of their life of bullying or being bullied, preforming a song, reading a poem or explaining what helped them stay away from the edge. And with each person, Sam's time grew nearer and nearer. Finally, Sam's friend Darren left the stage, hand clenching a paper, waving weakly to the crowd. And Sam understood. Telling people about years of humiliation was hard and it took a while for it to be ok again.

Sam grabbed a guitar and walked up to the stage, setting the stool down and giving a small smile.

"Hi."

And echoed chorus of _Hello's_ came back to him.

"Um, my name is Sam Winchester. I just started this school about 6 or 7 weeks ago? My dad dropped me off at my uncles, he had a business trip and couldn't bring me along." Sam shrugged making a few people snort. "Eh, it's cool. Probably boring anyway. But uh, that's not the point, is it?" Sam laughed softly to himself, strumming the guitar.

Dean and John exchanged looks briefly before turning their attention back to Sam.

"I, uh, I lost my mother when I was 6 months old in a hose fire." Sam started. The three men looked at him with confused yet pain filled eyes. Why was he saying this? "Ever since then my family has changed. I don't remember a life from before the fire. I don't remember my dad smiling or laughing or heck, even throwing a baseball around. I didn't grow up with warm and fuzzy feelings, we are Winchester's. Were not supposed to show our emotions." Sam chuckled again, except it sounded a bit lifeless. "But I'm not like them I guess. I've been told I show too much emotion, I care too much. I guess besides me being the new kid all the time since we moved so much, I was an easy target. A common name I got was Freak. I don't know why, but I was just a freak. When I was twelve I was fat."

Sam shrugged at the fact, smile playing on his lips. "Or I thought I was. Truth is, I was actually _healthy_. My older brother at 12 was a little under 120 at 5'4." A couple of gasps came from the crowd but Sam carried on. "Money was a bit hard to come by but we had friends that helped us and soon we got back on our feet. We still moved a lot and came to different schools. Difference was, my older brother was always there when I had bullies hurting me. He _always_ looked after me."

Dean felt pride well in his stomach at the fact Sam still felt highly of him.

"Dean basically raised me with the life on the road. Dad was busy but Dean had my back and I had his. But, high school is always a game changer for kids, am I right?" Mutters of agreement came from the crowd. "Dean took interests in girls rather then homework, when the next party was and when he could go out next. But he always made me a priority. Until he graduated and I started freshman year. Dad decided Dean could take business on his own and Dean was so happy, Dad trusted him with the car. _The_ car. '67 Chevy Impala, she is a beauty. I may not love her as much as Dean or my dad but she is one amazing car. So, Dean left. Didn't want to, but I made him leave, wanting him not to be held back because of me. I regret that but at the same time, feel like it made me stronger. I learned how to take care of myself...sorta."

Sam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I was picked on, punched, kicked, shoved, all of the above? It was a nightmare, everywhere I went it was the same story. Until I came here." Sam smiled, bright and happy. "I never met a group of people more accepting then the people at this school."

Students cheered and adults clapped. Sam started strumming his guitar again. "My big bro taught me how to play guitar when I was 8, I think. He didn't think I was too interested in it but I fell in love with the instrument. I hadn't played in so long though. These guys," He motioned to people back stage. "They pushed me into doing it again and soon I was writing music and singing again. It was amazing."

Dean winced at the singing part, only knowing about how _bad_ Sam was at it.

"So I wrote this song just for this event. I think it speaks to all those who've been bullied into believing they aren't good enough. I know I've felt like that more then once. Even of you _haven't_ been bullied, maybe you still feel that way. I wrote this song to tell you, you don't need to feel like that 'cause your not alone. I hope you like it."

John, Bobby and Dean watched as Sam adjusted his seat a little and lowered the mic as well. He played a few chords before he actually started the song.

 **"Made a wrong turn once or twice**  
**Dug my way out, blood and fire**  
**Bad decisions, that's alright**  
**Welcome to my silly life"**

Dean gaped at Sam's soft voice. It was soothing and reminded him of his mother's just a bit. John was hit but the familiar sound and let out a small sigh. Bobby just stayed quiet.

 **"Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood**  
**Miss No-Way-It's-All-Good**  
**It didn't slow me down**  
**Mistaken, always second guessing**  
**Underestimated, look I'm still around"**

John winced and couldn't help but think the last verse was left for him, especially when he left Sam for 6 weeks.

 **"Pretty, Pretty, Please, don't you ever, ever feel**  
**Like you less than, you are perfect**  
**Pretty, Pretty, Please, if you ever, ever feel**  
**Like you nothing, your fucking perfect to me"**

Sam sounded so passionate about it, his voice ringing with sincerity.

 **"You're so mean when you talk**  
**About yourself. You were wrong.**  
**Change the voices in your head**  
**Make them like you instead**

 **So complicated**  
**Look how we all make it**  
**Filled with so much hatred**  
**Such a tired game**  
**It's enough, I've done all I could think of**  
**Chased down all my demons**  
**I've seen you do the same"**

Dean glanced at his dad, wondering if he felt the emotion behind Sammy's words. Dean himself felt weakened and not just because his baby bro could sing, but what he discovered. He never thought Sam would have a different view of family, that it would be different from Dean's.

 **"** **Pretty, Pretty, Please, don't you ever, ever feel  
**   **Like you less than, you are perfect**  
**Pretty, Pretty, Please, if you ever, ever feel**  
**Like you nothing, your fucking perfect to me"**

Sam stopped playing his guitar, grabbing the mike he started to rap, albeit slowly but all the same part of the song.

**"The whole world's scared, so I swallow my fear  
 The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer"**

He made a drinking motion with his thumb and pinky sticking out, curling in the middle fingers.

 **"So cool in lying, and we try, try, try but we try too hard**  
**And it's a waste of my time**  
**Done looking for critic's cause they're everywhere**  
**They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair"**

Sam pointed to his ripped jeans (not bought ripped, he got it from a wendigo a year or so ago) and took off his beanie, running a hand through his hair. It fell in long waves, different from when John and Dean last saw it.

"Damn Samantha." Dean whispered without heat, voice sounding wet.

**"Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time  
 Why do we do that, why do I do that, why do I do that?"**

The last one sounded pathetic, like Sam was actually expecting an answer before his voice bursted into beautiful notes.

 **"Yeah! Oh!**  
**Oh, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty!**  
**Pretty, Pretty, Please, don't you ever, ever feel**  
**Like your less then, you are perfect**  
**Pretty, Pretty, Please, if you ever, ever feel**  
**Like your nothing, your fucking perfect to me**

**Your perfect, Your perfect**

**Pretty, Pretty, Please, don't you ever, ever feel**  
  **Like your less then, you are perfect**  
**Pretty, Pretty, Please, if you ever, ever feel**  
**Like you nothing, your fucking perfect**

**To me..."**

Sam's voice finished with a last strum before effectively stopping. The crowd cheered loudly making Sam flush and duck his head. He waved before everyone else came on stage. Sam, still with the microphone addressed the crowd.

"Thank you so much for coming here tonight! Thank you for your donations and support! Have a nice night, be careful and stay safe!"

They dispersed from the stage and into the crowd. Sam tried finding Bobby and ended up finding Lottie. He hugged her which she happily returned. Before she could say anything a voice yelled loudly above the crowd.

"SAMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!"

"Dean?" Sam turned and sure enough, Dean was standing there, eyes a bit watery. Sam blinked in shock as John appeared as well. "Dad!"

"I guess this is goodbye then." Lottie stated, smiled sadly at Sam. Sam nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I wont forget you."

"It would be hard forgetting you." Lottie admitted, giving Sam one last kiss. Sam reciprocated the action easily before pulling away, waving and then barreling into his older brother. Dean easily caught Sam, arms going around his baby brother's shoulders.

"What are you doing here?"

"For you of course!" Dean scoffed, ruffling his hair. Sam giggled and swatted his brother away, turning to his father.

"You came back for me?" Sam asked quietly.

"It would be hard to keep me away." John hugged Sam tightly. "I love you, Tiger. I don't say it often but I love you and your brother so much. Please don't ever forget that."

"I try not to ask anything from you dad." Sam admitted. "Because I know you love me and you do your best. Thank you."

The last bit was directed to Bobby who nodded, squeezing Sam's shoulder.

**\---**

_"I got accepted into Stanford. It's a full ride! Barely anyone gets a full ride."_

_"You wont be going." John snarled, face turning red._

_"Then it's a good think I'm not asking. I'm telling you dad." Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes, bag already swung over his shoulder. _

_"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back!"_

_Sam flinched at the words and looked to his father then brother. John meant them. That's what hurt. And Dean wasn't stopping him. "I try not to ask anything from you dad. Because I know you love me and do your best. But I cant let this opportunity go to waste." Sam opened the door, shivering as the cool air touched his skin. "Just don't die." Was all he said before slamming the door shut and walking into his new life, leaving everything he knew behind._

**Author's Note:**

> Done.


End file.
